Rotten Robyn
8.29.2004
 
Nazarene Underwear
As I know many of you have been refreshing your browser like mad, waiting for my next relational update, the moment has arrived.

OK, I had a "date" last night. With a nice church boy.

Went to the nail salon yesterday afternoon - pre-date of course - it was a mother/daughter bonding experience. And my nails look really pretty by the way. Anyways, the discussion at the "spa" turned into "what shall I wear on my date?''. Of course, this discussion followed the very important discussion of "what color should I paint my nails?" So my mother and I whiled away the minutes by mentally perusing my wardrobe. Turns out I have SCADS of inappropriate clothes. It was apparently much easier for Mom to tick off the outfits I SHOULDN'T wear.

People who don't know me don't realize that I LOVE to dress up. Always have. I HATE to wear pants. Jeans are OK sometimes, but slacks...nuh uh. Bleeeeh. I am 100% girly girl.

Anyway, back to the "date". I know you are biting your nails, wondering what I wore. So was it to be the red dress, the sundress that laces up the back, the black and pink dress with a bow on it that I bought because it reminded me of my grandma's nightgown, my geometrical print skirt...??? ???

Mom decided after the nail salon we HAD to go shopping. We went to Gordman's, which is by the way, my new favorite place to shop. Mom has obviously not read my blog entry on how if something looks like it's for a 15 year old/from 1985 I want it. Mom apparently thinks I should dress much more conservatively. What kills me is sometimes Mom will say how cute I look, but if we had seen the same exact thing hanging in the store, she would have rejected it. She just doesn't realize my ability to pull some things off. Style.

Mom chose a black shirt and grey slacks. Hellloooooooooo! I said "that looks great Mom"! "Looks like I'm going to a funeral! Where's the color?!? I need color!" !!!

We looked at one shirt and mom said - and this cracks me up - "you'll need a black bra to wear under that. Do you have a black bra?" Yes, Mom. I have a black bra. The only color of bra you should wonder about me NOT having is a plain white bra. I get to wear lots of colorful, fun bras. It's my compensation for having very small breasts. Big boobs = boring bras. They figure us small-chested girls should have something. I guess bra manufacturers figure we might be able to fool the world with all the lace, padding, colors, patterns, etc. so they won't notice how tiny our boobies are.

I finally said f&%K it. This is who I am and yes I wear a skirts and dresses and am way over the top, but that's me. And Mr. Date should know that by now, and if he doesn't like it, well that's just. too. damn. bad.

It was finally determined that NONE, not one single piece of my clothing was the least bit Nazarene. You will never see me sporting the no-makeup, natural hair color, long straight denim skirt and keds with bobby socks.

And there is definitely nothing the least bit traditional church-like about my underwear. Very non-denominational. Charismatic.

The context of the date was to go hang out with a small group of church-goers. Turns out, I did overdress, just like I always do for every other situation of my life. But because I wear what I want to wear, I feel completely comfortable.

Also turns out that church people are just that..people - just like everybody else. Less stylish than Robyn.

-Robyn...the nail polish is called "20 candles on my cake". that'll work.



Comments:
This post made me laugh out loud! I can totally see your mom asking if you have a black bra to wear under that shirt! The best is your nondenominational underwear!!!! ROFLMAO
 
Okay, so I'm dying to know....HOW DID THE DATE GO?!?!?

Jeanne
 
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