True Confession: Me No Understand Football
I don't understand football. I really, really, really want to though. I want to put on team sweatshirts, tailgate, make special snacks for halftime and throw Superbowl parties, but I just don't get it. Nobody has ever explained it to me.

I know I should. I was a photographer at football games for years. But I was always busy taking pictures...of what, I dunno. Mom is a huge OU fan. In fact, she wanted to name older brother Steve Owen. So you think something genetically would have rubbed off. It didn't though.

I lived with Mr. Sports for years. Obviously, our marriage was not strong enough for him to attempt to teach me the nuances of football. We never could just pick a game, a game that didn't matter, so he could use that to teach me. All games were of equal importance. I knew better than to interrupt to ask a question. I just watched and listened quietly.

When I was married, I even went to the OSU football games. I loved to put on my "gear" and the whole experience. But our season tickets were in the end zone, which is apparently not the best place to sit when you don't know what the *#^%$) is going on. Besides, OSU always looses, so what fun is that? I was really good at being the one to go fetch hot cocoa.

Once, I even picked a pro team. I chose the Raiders, and I must be a good picker because they ended up going to the Superbowl that year. I picked them because their colors were black and silver, pretty. They had a female owner. And I liked that whole pirate thing.

Last year, when I was watching a game, one of the announcers completely dumbed it down...he said "Offense, they blank and blank. Defense, they blank and blank". Whatever he said totally made sense, but I didn't write it down so I lost what they blanky blanks are. I need a cheat sheet. "Football for Blondes", "Football for Dummies", something.

Nascar I get. Baseball, basketball, I get. But somebody, please explain football to me so that I can finally go to Buffalo Wild Wings and watch Monday Night Football and not be such an airhead. Besides, we can play fantasy football and bet a steak dinner or something.

I also can't drive a stick and don't know how to play solataire, but one thing at a time.

-Robyn

- posted by Robyn @ 12:00 AM