nugget mania asian food frenzy hocus pocus good friend
The marquee at Wendy's says it's "nugget mania". I had no idea. I bet the chickens don't think so.

I have a real sickness. I have eaten at Pei Wei every day but one since it opened last Monday. And on that day, technically I could have eaten Pei Wei leftovers, but I didn't. I did reheat them up for a friend though. My fortune cookie today (even though they are not really fortunes but more like philosophical saying cookies) said people find it hard to resist my persuasiveness. Ha!

I got a job! I got a job! I got a job!
I was unemployed for exactly 6 days.

I am so glad to be done with the whole interview thing. It is so corny. Those silly questions:

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
Gee. I don't know. If I could go back five years in my time machine and answer this question, I certainly would NOT have said in five years I hope to be divorced, sharing my kid, renting and unemployed.

"What is your dream job?"
"Dream" and "job" are two words that just don't mix. When I "dream" about work, it is generally not a good thing that working has invaded my sleep pattern. Someone paying me to sit around and drink lattes. That would be lovely. Pay me to be with my kiddo. Paint my fingernails. There is absolutely no "dream job" in the insurance industry. It simply does not exist.

"Do you like to work more in a team environment or by yourself?"
Well, that depends. If I like the people, and/or if they are pleasant to look at or bring me food I like to eat, I like to work in a team environment. If the people are crazy sociopaths, I more prefer the whole lone wolf thing. Sometimes even if the people are psychopaths, I do prefer to work with them ever so briefly so that I might pass work off to them. Delegate.

"Why should I hire you?"
Because I really don't want to go dance at the Red Dog Saloon or live with my parents again.

So what are you really proving in the interview process? Yes, I can think of clever responses which sound good, very quickly. I am able to say things which I really don't mean and you know I don't mean in a fast and coherent manner in order to hopefully convince you to hire me. Also I have proven that it is WAY easier for attractive people to get hired. Te he he.

As I was getting dressed for church this morning, struggling to get ready in time for an 11:00 service since I didn't get out of bed til 9, I thought gee I'm going to have to be on-time, even early, to work because I am a boss. Holy moly.

When they called to offer me the job, they went into much detail about the benefits. They apparently have a wellness program, and will pay employees $5 for every pound they lose. The HR lady who was explaining this to me apparently had not seen me when I came in for the interview. For 80% of the local population, yes, you should be explaining this. But I am in the sick/twisted .000001% of the population who has issues with eating and you have just further encouraged me to starve myself so that I can buy myself a new outfit, size 4, financed from losing weight! Anywho, they don't pay this out in cash, the HR lady said they pay it out in the form of Target/Wal Mart gift certificates. I told her that probably made more sense than say a restaurant gift certificate. "Congrats on losing 10 pounds, here's your Outback gift card!"

I had to go get drug tested. Apparently this company feels like their employees work better when they are not under the influence of barbituates, etc. I slightly resent this, as I have never taken drugs, I don't know what my work product would be like - it could be better if say I smoked crack. Plus, that's one way to keep your employee's weight down!

I learned a lot about myself in the few short days I was unemployed. I didn't like what I found out. Turns out, I am a big spoiled baby. But my former husband probably could have already told you this. Giggle giggle giggle. All kidding aside, I live my life way too comfortably. Yep, I was concerned that I needed a job because there is no one to take care of me and I need to pay my bills, but I was also thinking about how lush my life is and how I wasn't going to get to continue to drive around in my brand new car and be able to do stuff like get a manicure, eat at Pei Wei's, go to Starbucks. How sad is that when there are so so many less fortunate in the world and how blessed my life is.

I'm glad the whole job search thing didn't have to go on for too long. Definitely would have required zoloft. As part of my week of interviewing/job search blitz, I went to a "job fair". Don't let the "fair" part fool you. There was NO cotton candy. At this job "fair" I had to take a typing test and another sort of data entry test. I made zero errors on the data entry part. The recruiters were amazed. I typed 85 words a minute. While it was somewhat fun to observe the other "applicants" watching my fingers fly on the keyboard, it was also very sad. The minimum requirement was 25 words per minute, and some people were having to take and re-take the typing test to try to get their speed up to the minimum required.

There is nothing in my refrigerator. I have cheese slices, the same cheese slices I've had in there for a very long time. Milk, which is sort of questionable. The date is ok, but it doesn't smell good. But I don't drink milk, so I don't think it ever smells good. And when I get up from this computer and put my leftover Pei Wei in the fridge, that'll be in there. I think I'm actually going to go to the grocery store.

Hocus Pocus
My son is TOTALLY into magic. He has a magic set which came with a video and he knows several magic tricks and card tricks. I cannot tell you how painful it is to watch an 8 year old do magic. He is trying so hard, but if he messes up on a trick, he has to start over. And tricks can be long and rather involved. Then when he is done, he wants to tell me how the trick works. I don't want to know! I keep telling him he shouldn't tell the audience, but he seems to think I should know because I am the magician's mom.

How long do you have to date someone before you are no longer introduced as "friend"? Is there any other term besides "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" that sounds a bit more appropriate when you are a grown up?

-Robyn...typed by your good friend at 85 words per minute while drinking Chai Tea from Pei Wei
- posted by Robyn @ 2:20 PM