1. more time to focus on my charity work
2. no $$$ = no food = great way to lose a few extra pounds
3. I can always join the Army. Wait - the pretty girls go Air Force. I'm way too hot for the Army.
4. unemployment is one more thing I can blame on George W. Bush
5. no rushing to work means I'll save tons of $$$ on speeding tickets....wait a sec...I NEVER rushed to work....so how come I get all those tickets?
6. can get job at Starbucks and I'll get my coffee for free and probably come out ahead
7. finally have the freedom to go back to school and join that sorority I always want to join
8. there's always Hooter's
9. More time to blog! Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray! Bonus: blogging is totally free!
10. it'll be fun to dress up for all those interviews and I'm especially excited about the pantyhose
11. I will never, ever, ever again have to sit on hold with American General Insurance Co. for 20 minutes listening to their crappy hold muzak
12. let's face it....no coffee pot, no fridge, no food on-site - it was a crappy job
13. who cares, I got a poncho
14. great opportunity for me to "eat up" the surplus of food in my fridge & pantry te he he
15. so what, I've still got plenty of Zoloft left over from the divorce
16. helllooooo.....no job - do ya think I can finally get some child support here? huh???
17. it's too difficult to submit to a sugar daddy as long as you are working...and it's way to hard to type with a big diamond ring on your finger
18. Live life with no regrets. Seriously.
19. still have a room at my mom and dads
20. my car already looks like a homeless person might live in it
21. can now become praise singer for Oral Roberts ministry
22. finally will have time to house train the puppy

I'm sitting at home drinking a Mocha that I made with my very own espresso machine, thank you very much, because that's what poor unemployed people do. I also went to church this morning, and that's free. I did not get there early enough for the free donut holes, and that's a shame.

McDumbasses

I went to McDonald's yesterday. My son and I were having a fun day together, and for some reason it seemed like a logical thing to do with a small child. I mean, why else would you go there, if you didn't have a kid? We were hungry and drawn in by the $1.00 double cheeseburgers. And that's what poor people do. They eat crappy, processed, unhealthy, cheap food.

Here's what we ordered. Two small drinks. Two small fries. OK pretty simple so far. Here's where we totally jacked around with McEmployee's. Two double cheeseburgers with NO MEAT and NO ONIONS. And two double cheeseburgers with KETCHUP and CHEESE ONLY.

Our receipt 100% accurately reflected our order.

Here's what we got. Two small drinks (technically we did make these ourselves so the McEmployee's could not have screwed this up with the exception of not giving us our McCups) and two small fries. So far, so good. Four double cheeseburgers with MEAT AND CHEESE AND KETCHUP AND MUSTARD AND PICKLES. So they left the onions off. I had to go back to the counter. And explain it again. These were white, blonde girls with ponytails. I was BETRAYED BY MY OWN PEOPLE! I walked away from the counter and I overheard one of the girls say..."oooooohhhhh, she must be a vegetarian!"

Quote from Nathan, "I hate McDonalds". So I may be a big unemployed loser, but at least I have raised my child properly.

And to top it off, their ice cream machine was broken.

Oops I did it again....I smell like a skank.....

Went to the mall yesterday (to see Shark Tales - ehhhh). Cut through the perfume counter at Dillard's and was accosted by one of those perfume sample people. Wait maybe I can get that job. The fragrance: Britney Spears Curious. So I acted like this was just the BEST THING EVER. I acted so very excited, not only did she spray some on me and give me one of those cardboard smelly things, she reached behind the counter and gave me a FREE SAMPLE too, and anything free at this point is good, right? I hate to admit this, but it actually smells very good on me and not at all skanky. And hey, maybe if I wear it, I TOO can be married twice in one year.

-Robyn...welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order?

- posted by Robyn @ 11:36 AM