oh magic conch shell
The lamest Christmas list ever.

I made a Christmas list for Mom. Are you ready kids?

1. shower curtain
2. bath mats
3. electric blanket

How sad is that? The strange thing is...(aside from the objects actually on the list) when I sat down and made the list I specifically put the word new in from of the items, like "a new shower curtain" and "new bath mats". Like my Mom would wrap up an old shower curtain and old bath mats in pretty paper and put them under her perfect Martha Stewart Christmas tree. I have a couple more things I'm thinking of adding to the list, but they are equally pathetic so I won't go into detail now. I'll let your mind wander.

Let's make a better list.
1. clear skin
2. An asian baby - hey, I like babies, and little asian babies are quite cute.
3. An e-z bake oven. I always wanted one of these things. Finally, a few years ago, Mom bought me one so I would shut up. Guess what? When the big dissolution happened, it is one of the things that magically disappeared from my former house. So the e-z bake oven continues to elude me. (note to Mom: if you'd have bought me one of these sooner, maybe I wouldn't go to Pei Wei so much)
4. an unlimited Starbucks card
5. a clean car
6. a laundry fairy

Santa, I promise I have been a good girl this year.

Nice girls finish last.

I am way too nice. Sadly, it is not the first time I have heard this. People are unable to find flaws with me (aside from the bad skin) so that is perplexing to them. It would apparently be way easier for people to trust me, to form relationships with me, feel more comfortable with me if I was not so nice, if there were not so many perfect things about me. Must I resolve to be a bitch? How does one go about doing that? Maybe I should consult with the evil sock monkey. I bet she knows. Yes, some people read their horoscopes. Some people consult the magic eight ball. I have a sock monkey.

My hair is done. My toes are done. My nails are done. My eyebrows are done. I'm not horribly fat right now. Folks, this is as good as it is going to get...this may be the prettiest I am all month. Aside from the bad skin that is. But I have just resigned myself to the fact that it is never going to get any better. Sigh.

-Robyn...soon to be Sleeping Beauty

- posted by Robyn @ 9:25 PM