walking on rose petals and red carnations coming out of your bum
pity flowers
I got flowers from one of my employees for valentine’s day. It really was a lovely gesture. However, when I was thanking her for the blossoms, she couldn’t just stop with “you’re welcome”. She had to go on with “yes, I tried to get flowers for all of the single people who I thought would be alone on valentine’s day and don’t have anybody”.

But the really cool thing is the flowers contained two roses. Since they were starting to get wilty today, I sprinkled the rose petals all over the floor in my office. Since today is “what should I be today” day, I decided I should be one who walks (and rolls her chair on) rose petals.

I’m so proud of ME!
-Have survived week one with no polish. I don’t like the way my feet look but I’m glad I’m part of the Kingdom. I actually think I may come out of this whole experience with longer, stronger healthier nails. I guess it is just as well that I didn’t receive some sort of ring for valentine’s day as it probably would look better modeled on a polished finger anyway.
-I have done amazing things this week. 1. I went to the grocery store. 2. I bought groceries, even though people there annoyed me. 3. I made enchiladas and rice for me and Nate. 4. Last night, even though I didn’t have Nate I made dinner for myself (and it was good) 5. I have been making my coffee at home in the mornings. 6. My car is still clean, but a bird did poop on it. I guess that’s God’s little way of karma for me saying people are stupid and liking the robotic car wash.

Disclaimer: the following is in no way, shape or form a tirade about my former spouse. It is merely an amusing little story. Thank you.

We have a lovely week on/week off custody exchange. Apparently this means that I am the parent responsible for the 50% un-fun work, discipline and parental type things, and former spouse is responsible for all that is fun.

Last week, Nathan was given a massive homework assignment. Make a President McKinley paper doll, and read a 96-page book on President McKinley. So I get Nate back from Dad and it is the day before the assignment is due and none of it has been done. Must 1. read the book, 2. go to evil Wal-Mart and purchase supplies for paper doll, 3. take book to Kinkos to make photocopy of President’s head for doll 3. make doll, 4. other miscellaneous and sundry Mommy duties that you do every night….make sure people eat, bathe, have clothes to wear, etc.

So I call former spouse and was probably not very kind to him. I explained my unhappiness over the fact that none of this had been done the week before and how it’s not a good idea to teach small child to wait until the last minute, instead you should do a little bit at a time, etc. etc. Of course, nothing was ever the fault of former spouse. He explains to me that Nate did not make him aware of the assignment til one night at 9:30 and at that time it was too late. So, you see, not his fault! Nathan should have told him earlier! You mean he’s supposed to ask small child if small child has homework? Gasp! So Nate doesn’t tell him til late one evening, then the next night they went to a concert, then he let Nate go to a sleepover, then he let Nate go play at a friend’s house. Oh, did I mention not only had Nate not made any progression on his homework, but he was also completely exhausted?

Anyway, I digress. Back to the story, I called former spouse and asked “how do YOU suggest is the best way to handle reading a 96-page book and making a paper doll tonight?

“Uhhhhh, I dunno.”

“What time should we expect you to come over?”

So there you have it. I made former spouse come over and help. Oh, this is also coincidentally how I spent valentine’s day: 1. went to work, worked like a mad woman. 2. left work briefly to attend small child v-day party, 3. went back to work, 4. went to purchase paper doll supplies, 5. went to pick up child, 6. went home and cooked while child bathed and practiced guitar, 7. did dishes, 8. worked on paper doll til almost ten, (with former spouse in my house) 9. collapsed.

red carnations
One more thing about President McKinley. President McKinley became famous for wearing a red carnation is his buttonhole. Only Nate got confused and thought it was butt hole.

-Robyn
- posted by Robyn @ 6:07 PM