Tulsa, trendy tops, trashy thongs, tortilla chips, trays of tea, one tremendous tokus, Tuesdays and too many italics!
Road trip! Road trip!

Appears relationship with Pastor/Poodle Hater/Proposal Procrastinator has survived first out-of-town trip. Drove to Tulsa with Pastor and his kiddos to attend wedding he was officiating.

here's how it went
-I left work early on Friday. We drove my car to Tulsa. Once we got there, I watched his kiddos so that he could do the rehearsal. Then I helped with the kiddos during the rehearsal dinner.
-After the rehearsal events, one kiddo fell asleep, the other did not. While he put one kiddo to bed, I took the other to swim in the hotel pool.
-Next morning,. a quick check of the pastor's separate and distinct room revealed that the kiddos were awake and watching cartoons, and the Pastor was still trying to sleep. Me, being the nice nice nice nice nice person that I am, took kiddos to eat breakfast in the hotel, then we went in search of the nearest Starbucks because no one is pleasant until they've had their macchiato, and then went and explored the mall (which was not yet open) so the Pastor could sleep in. After all, he has to unite two people in holy matrimony! He must be fresh! If I was a dreambride2005, I'd want a fresh Pastor! What do I really have to do anyway...eat, shop, manicure?
- Divide and conquer before the wedding. I took one of the kiddos to my room to shower and dress, while he took the other.
-Watched the kiddos during the wedding. Did my best during all of these wedding-related events to be charming and engaging and friendly to the new people I was meeting.

Then it happened. At the reception. Are you ready for this? Pastor introduced me to someone as:

this is my friend Robyn

Sigh.

Sigh!

Did I mention sigh?!? My heart sank just a little bit, at least down to my giant fat ass (more about this later).

Pet peeve alert! Pet peeve alert! Huge giant pet peeve alert!

For some reason, this just really pisses me off. Friend indeed! I mean, did you just read all that stuff above? A very, very, very, very, very good friend indeed!

If you can't think of anything else to say besides friend, then just Robyn please! Even "good friend" would have been better. Some sort of qualifier!

Got to go to the big mall in Tulsa. It was quite exciting because I got to go to Aveda and to Frederick's of Hollywood. My normal mall has neither of these. Let's tackle them one at a time:

Aveda
-Walked into the store and the cute little blonde-bobbed (that's bobbed, not boobed) salesgirl comes over with a tray with a little cup of tea on it and says "would you like some hot tea"? Of course I would! So I told the girl how I didn't have an Aveda store, had to go on-line or to a salon, blah blah blah blah and she said
"Ill do your eyes"! Sure! I"d love that! Anyways, she ended up doing all my makeup! Yea for me! And since I was going to aforementioned wedding and had no makeup on, this was perfect.

Frederick's
I bought 11 pairs of panties. Thongs thongs thongs thongs thongs thongs thongs! Not one pair of undies that will cover my giant bum. Dug through the clearance bin! What, I ask you, could be more fun than digging through a bin of very naughty underwear that my mother would not approve of?

I was sick most of last week and still don't feel good. I am amazed at how much snot my body can produce. So I asked my body, "Body, how is it that you can make that much snot"? Then this little voice inside my head said "well you think you can eat THAT many tortilla chips, why is it unreasonable to think that we are capable of producing that much mucus"? Gross. One should never write about snot and sacred tortilla chips in the same paragraph.

I ended up going to the doctor twice which is pretty amazing since I'm not one to go to the doctor once. Things took an ugly, fat turn when I weighed at the doctor. I didn't look, but when the nurse put my chart on the counter I saw the number she had written down.

Oh. Holy. Jeepers.

I didn't mean to! I didn't want to know, but she wrote really big. And it was a really big number to write. There are some things that your eyes just cannot un-see. So I am presently a giant fat ass and not happy about it.

Last week I also got one of those lingerie inspired tops that are so trendy right now...looks like you are wearing a camisole. Yet another item not approved of/endorsed by Mom. So naturally not only did I get one, I got the wildest one I could find.

The thing about dating the same person for so long is that after a while you DO start to think that every holiday, occasion, just about anything is THE moment when he is going to propose. You are on proposal watch duty all the time. Even if he hates your dog. Even if you are a "friend". You know, major holiday's like Christmas, Valentine's, Ground Hog's Day, President's Day, the Spring Equinox, the one year anniversary of him asking for your phone number, March 4---you know, so you can "march forward", Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, anniversary of the constitution, Ash Wednesday, Chinese New Year, First of Muharram, Flag Day...you get the picture. I'd settle for just a Tuesday.

-Robyn...fat assed friend
- posted by Robyn @ 10:26 AM