Non-Alcoholic Sparkling Cider
Mom got me pj's for Christmas. Mom either (1) doesn't realize I don't wear pj's to bed or (2) hopes that I will start wearing pj's to bed. I am blogging in them though and rather like them. They are red with coffee cups all over them. Pictures of coffee cups, that is.

My niece Kitty Kat (age 10) was in town for Christmas. I enriched the quality of her life by taking her to Starbucks and the fabulous mexican restaurant here in town. She was impressed to no end that the people in Starbucks knew me. I explained to her the sheer importance of developing these kinds of personal relationships.

When Kitty Kat and I were running around, we pulled up next to a police officer. Kitty Kat said a friend had told her to never get involved with a police officer because they are involved in a lot of violence and can get violent. So I asked Kitty Kat what kind of man should you get involved with? A rich one, she said. She'll do fine.

Kitty Kat and I both pulled our hair back in pony-tails and she was quite the mini-me. I tried to teach her a couple of new catch phrases, one being "we are not fit for manual labor". I guess I'll find out from my brother here in the next few weeks if any of them stuck with her.

Starting the new year off by blogging. That's good, right? Also, have a manicure and the condo is very very very clean. There is something to be said about starting the new year off with a freshly scrubbed toilet. I have also done almost all of my laundry. If you still care about this post at this point, bless your heart.

It was good to clean the condo. I was very reflective as I cleaned as I have lived here for almost a year now. It was nice to think about how blessed I am and how much I have enjoyed living here and how content I am with my surroundings.

I could not wait to gleefully rip down all of the Christmas decorations. What was I thinking? I mean it's not like anyone saw them! Did you come over? Noooooooo!

The last couple of Christmas's before I left my marital home were so bad. One year, I put up no decorations because Nate and I went out of town on one trip while my former spouse went on a complete and separate va-ca. Hmmmm, sign of things to come perhaps? Another Christmas towards the end I swear I left the decorations up way longer than I should have. I finally put everything away in the boxes, but I left the boxes piled in a corner in my living room until sometime in March. Twas not a happy camper.

This Christmas was not bad. It did not suck. Which is more than I can say for the past several years.

I love New Year's. It's a brand new fresh start. This past year had a whole lotta crappy in it. So I am excited about 2005 even though some people think things like watching the ball drop and drinking sparkling non-alcoholic cider is completely silly. I don't care. I know that I can have a brand new fresh start anytime. I did resolve that earlier in 2004 - July 1st. I was at On the Border and I was writing out "rest of the year resolutions". I started a blog. And you know what? The 2nd half of the year was WAY better than the first.

I'm going to make resolutions. Not right now though. It's two in the morning people! I'll probably take a notebook to Starbucks tomorrow and sit around and drink coffee and sketch them out. So I guess it's safe to say that no more Starbucks is not a resolution.

-Robyn...I did NOT get the Hello Kitty toaster for Christmas

- posted by Robyn @ 11:44 PM 1 comments

 
I want fudge year round! Not just at Christmas!
holiday update

Christmas is over. Thank the Lord. Thank you for baby Jesus, but thank you that this magical Christmas season is finally over. No, there were no small blue and silver Tiffany boxes in my stocking so the big diamond ring continues to elude me. Damn diamond diggers.

Nate could not go to bed on Christmas Eve. It was one in the morning before he finally gave it up. He had been with my former spouse that evening, and was no doubt left with minimal supervision around high sugar content items at a Christmas party they went to. By his own admittance, he had consumed at least two Coca Cola's. Nate was convinced Santa would not come because he could not fall asleep. I think that Nate thinks that Santa is a bunch of hooey but he is too afraid to admit that he doesn't believe on the slight chance that Santa is for real.

Two of the items Nate got were a K'Nex roller coaster set and an Icee machine. The K'Nex set said ages 10 and up. It came with approximately 10,000 pieces. My 31 year old brother spent about 8 hours trying to put together something that resembled a roller coaster before he finally abandoned the process. The toy box did not state that it required an engineering degree, but it apparently does. The Icee machine box said "easy to use! easy to clean!" Lying bastards! I have never in my life wanted to file a class action lawsuit, but after I assembled the 42 pieces for this Icee machine, and after we prepared a sub-standard Icee beverage, I was nearly at the point of contacting legal counsel. My son loved it, and that's all that matters. I did let him take the Icee machine to his dad's house, and we won't worry too much if that particular toy doesn't find it's way back to my house.

If you didn't get a Christmas card from me, don't feel slighted. It's because I think they are stupid. You are more likely to get a card on Arbor Day or Groundhog day. I got an assortment of cards given to me, and the majority of them had my name misspelled. I can't tell you how little it means to me that you care enough to give me a card but don't know that Robyn is with a y. Also please never get Mom a card. She saves every single card everybody ever gives to her. They are in a very large box in one of her cabinets. I've assured her when she dies I'm going to chuck the box in the garbage, yet she still saves them. Probably just because she knows how much trouble it will be for me later.

Every year I send the Christmas cards I receive to:
http://www.stjudesranch.org/Content/cardprogram.asp

I contemplated doing a Christmas letter, but it would have said something like I got a dissolution of marriage, paid too much for a car, lost my job, etc. so I didn't bother.

I got a Madonna CD for Christmas. Feel oh so happy listening to songs from 1984 at max volume on the car stereo.

Came home one evening last week to find that the Television Fairy (parents) had visited and had left a brand new, rather large television in my living room. My former television had been put in my bedroom. I am grateful for the gift, but I don't recall verbalizing to anyone that I wanted a new television set. In fact, I had just had a conversation with Mom that I very rarely watch television. I don't think that people, especially married people, should have a television set in their bedroom. I certainly do not think that me, Nate and Okie Dokie need three television sets in our 900 square foot condo. Freaky though....the new television picks up way more channels. I was only getting half a dozen or so channels because I think cable is evil and don't have it, but now I get more with the new tv.

Another weird electronic thing. One of Nate's electronic Christmas presents came with a card for us to fill out and send in to register the product, and it stated that if we registered and the thing ever got lost, they could track it for us. I don't want Magnavox to have that kind of power with my son's cordless microphone.

Okie Dokie doggie got a sweater for Christmas. It has a hood. He is now a sweater wearing accoutrement. He has been staying with Dad every day, you know, so I don't get evicted. He comes home at night completely exhausted from chasing around their dog who doesn't want her ass sniffed, thank you very much.

meaning of life update

Feel terrible about the Tsunami. Want to leave and become a relief worker. At Starbucks this morning looking at pictures on the cover of the New York Times. Piles of dead bodies, lots of kids. Feel as though my life has little meaning as I am waiting on my macchiato wearing my nice work clothes and Nine West high heels smelling like Tommy Girl perfume getting ready to go to my job in a nice, safe, warm office.

Thank goodness, I think the benadryl is finally kicking in.

-Robyn...somewhat of a sweater wearing accoutrement myself
- posted by Robyn @ 11:06 AM 3 comments

 
bic stick disappointment but hey there are tortilla chips
Job fair at work tonight. That means a crowd of unsuitable applicants rather than just one. But there will be cookies. I normally have to interview without cookies and juice, so that's a bonus.

Sweet-n-Low Daddy. Uh huh baby. In addition to no longer having to put gas in my car or take out my trash, brings me mexican food when I have to work late! mmmmm mexican food!
(There's a line in Shrek 2 where the Donkey says mmmmm mexican food. If I could insert sound clips, I'd do it here.)

Total Bic Stick disappointment.
I love Bic Sticks. They are my favorite pens in the whole wide world. I prefer the black over blue, but blue will do in a pinch. Recently purchased a pack. Instead of the 10-pack, they now come in a 7-pack. Clever. The odd number of pens in a package bothers me. I prefer the nice, even 10 pens. Also they are no longer white, but rather a transparent, frosted plastic. This bugs me. I have a preference for the plain-ol' white pen.

It really is the little things that make me happy. Delight me. Like the trash and the gas and the Bic Sticks and the tortilla chips. See how easy I am to please!

I'm probably on the verge of being evicted at the Condo because apparently my 8 pound dog barks incessantly when I'm away. My choices are: 1. get rid of dog. 2. move back in with parents. 3. move. 4. not ever leave dog home alone. Not sure what I'm going to do about this one. Okie Dokie went over to stay with my dad today while I was at work.

In an effort to continue to be as weird as I can at work, have yet another silver frame on my desk with pictures of non-real people in it. It's a picture I cut out of a magazine of old Barbies dressed up at a house party. It's right by the sock monkeys.

-Robyn.....everything is better with cookies and juice

- posted by Robyn @ 3:09 PM 1 comments

 
fairy godburglar says to drink lotsa water and stay away from the marigold walls
1. I should be sleeping but I am not. A strange man (a man I do not know) was standing by my stairwell when I got home, and it scared the crap out of me, so I'm blogging. He's probably my guardian angel or my fairy godfather, and here I am being ungrateful. You think I could feel secure with the guard rat dog I have here, but nuh-uh.

2. I feel like crap. Emotionally. Somewhat physically too. I think nutrition is a big part of it. Mexican food Friday night, mexican food last night, and miscellaneous Christmas party food in between. I'm sick of party food. I'm a real big believer in you can't change things overnight, some things take time, but what can I do right now, right this very minute to make a difference? I heard a little thing a few years back and it really stuck with me. If you want to change your life, don't try to change too much stuff at once. Just pick one thing. In one day, what one thing can you do different. Like a couple of days last week, that one thing was NOT going to Starbucks (oh if only I had said that on the panty day). Tomorrow my one thing is going to be drink tons and tons and tons of water. I was really good about this for a while. It is totally a habit you have to get into, because who really enjoys sitting around and drinking a bunch of water unless it has been filtered over delicious coffee beans and served with flavored syrups and nonfat steamed milk? Not I.

3. You've probably figured out by now this is not when I do my best work.

4. Nazarene Christmas party tonight. Wore: black a-line skirt, just below the knees. Fuzzy off-white sweater...deep v neck, ties at waist with satin bow. And since I did not want to appear too boring, catholic schoolgirl in not a good way with my black skirt and white sweater, wore bright blue Barbie shoes and big sparkly pin. Because I have a motto. You know that whole "what would Jesus do?" thing? Mine is sorta like that. Except it is "what would Sarah Jessica Parker wear?" And that's how I get dressed. Naturally I was the only person at the party in a skirt. And heels. But I don't care.

5. I cried when I saw marigold yellow walls today. Right before I left home, I started painting my entry hall marigold yellow. I always loved yellow walls. I have no idea why I felt the need to paint except maybe I thought the paint fumes would make me happy and forget about my miserable existance. I never finished painting my entry hall. I left it un-done. Just like the relationship. Just walked away. After I moved out, my mother in law practically moved in for a bit and repainted my whole house. She loved the marigold paint, and from what I hear painted practically the whole house in it. I find that so funny, because she never liked anything I did. I never got to enjoy my marigold paint. Why did the marigold walls have to upset me? Instead why couldn't I have just been able to think about that Sponge Bob episode where the teacher is in the yellow padded room and all the walls turn into Sponge Bob?

6. Last Christmas sucked. I was living with the parents and they bought my son a bunch of stuff/toys because they felt sorry for him because his parents were getting a divorce. There was one particular day when my Mom and Dad and I were wrapping presents and they decided I had not bought him enough, so they went out and bought him an X-Box. And I hate those things. Ugh.

OK, going to sleep. For a few before I have to get up and be boss lady. Bonus: I will already be cranky due to lack of sleep.

-Robyn...blogging in my turquoise blue plastic Barbie high heels but at least I took my makeup off

- posted by Robyn @ 11:47 PM 0 comments

 
panties panties everywhere
The kind of story that is absolutely hilarious.
When it happens to someone else.

Got up Saturday morning. Threw on jeans from Friday. Went to Starbucks. Ran into someone that I knew. It's bad enough I have on no makeup. Just a chit-chatting away, and he points to the ground. I'm thinking I must need to tie my shoes. Please God, please let that be it. Maybe I dropped something. Nope, there are last nights knickers which have fallen out of last nights jeans.

Oh the horror.

At least I can be proud of my nice Victoria's Secret thongs and not .88 cent special underwear from Walmart. However, if the undies were a bit bigger, perhaps one could keep up with them.

I swear sometimes that someone must be following me around, getting ideas for the next Bridget Jones book. Perhaps, someday I will have achieved the certain number of Bridget Jones-isms in my life that one must reach in order to be rewarded with a Mr. Darcy.

Moving on.

Fej, my opinion on the hair thing. Must comment. No one should pay off a little girl to grow out long pretty hair.

I had long pretty blonde hair all of my life. I finally worked up the courage to cut mine this year. And make it darker. I felt ridiculous walking around being my 32, 33 year old self and still looking like Barbie. After the big chop off, I walked into my parent's house and Mom said
"Oh your hair!"
"It's short"
"And it's browwwwwn!"

Mind you, it wasn't even that short, and it wasn't even that brown. Just the fact that it wasn't the whole white bleached out look anymore. Ugh. Anyway, I thought Mom was going to cry over my hair. She finally mustered a compliment "well it's your hair, you can do what you want". It took her a while to warm up to it but I think she digs my low-lights now. And the darker hair does make my blue eyes just POP right out at ya.

I do have a point here. I never felt like I could or should cut my hair because people make such a big deal over long pretty hair that you feel like you would be unattractive without it. A couple of people wanted to make some sort of correlation between getting the big D and cutting my hair when that had nothing to do with it. I could have cared less what my former spouse thought about my hair. It's all about me me me! I had just finally worked up a level of self confidence I think comes with age and maturity to know that I am attractive and like the way my I look no matter if I have the Barbie hair or not. Still working on the whole self confidence thing having to do with I am attractive no matter how much I weigh. Yeah right!

So, back to you Fej...your daughter...I'm thinking of starting a pool for to give her $$$ to do whatever the freak she wants with her hair. Let's not let 'em start thinking at such a formative, wee age that hair = pretty and that you should let a man tell you how to fix your hair. ; )

Had this whole laundry thing going on. I would wash clothes and not put them away. So I had scads of clean clothes just thrown about in my closet. And I have been working like a mad-woman, cracking the whip at the office and too tired to do much when I get home. I spent considerable time on the condo/closet yesterday which is good to get one's clothes organized. It is especially important to be responsible with one's underthings.

-Robyn...is it really wrong to eat my weight in tortilla chips

- posted by Robyn @ 6:24 AM 1 comments

 
nice girls finish last
Man World
I am in trouble, yet again, for being too nice. Cursed niceness!

Boss Land
It's doubtful anyone thinks I'm nice. I guess this is the universe's little way of balancing things out. Wouldn't want stuff to start falling off the planet or anything.

Kid Planet
Sunday night had a make your own pizza party and eat cookie dough with Nate the Great. Good Mommy. Made birthday party invitations without consent/approval. Bad Mommy. Read "Series of Unfortunate Events". Good Mommy. Honked horn at child when he forgot his backpack and scared the beejeebus out of him. Bad Mommy. I could go on and on, but you get the point.

H.R. pup-n-stuf
Okie Dokie apparently likes to bark when I'm not home. He NEVER barks when I am at home. In fact when I first got him it was a good while before I ever EVEN heard the dog bark and I was beginning to wonder. The first time I heard him bark it was when Nathan doned the Darth Vadar costume. But apparently a "neighbor" complained. I have a significant other, special friend, romantic interest, yadda yadda yadda who doesn't like my dog, and then suddenly my condo gets an "anonymous" complaint? Coincidence? Hmmmm.

Note to Fej:
1. Round brushes are scary. It has taken me years to master medium to long hair and the big round brush. Combine hair, blow-dryer, round brush and 5:00 a.m. and the result can be an emergency call to your hairdresser. We must take these things seriously.

2. You would not be the first man who's downfall was the direct result of this blog.

-Robyn

- posted by Robyn @ 7:41 PM 1 comments

 
Spackled, Sparkled and Sprayed Smurfette
Christmas Party. Ehhhhhhhh.

People, we are grown-ups. This is not the prom. (Even though some of us can still wear our dresses. Gosh I love to keep pointing that out!)

My dress was lovely, elegant...understated. It was black sheer overlay, with a gold slip-like thing underneath it. Not sparkly tacky gold, but satiny gold. It was very retro, 40-ish looking. Mid-calf length. Not too long, not too short. Not too fancy. Not too casual. Juuuuust right. Will be suitable for future Nazarene social events.

I did apply the three S's of party style:
-Spackle
-Sparkle
-Spray

OK, one more...stringy panties.

Now I will admit I did get a dress - $30. Pricey for me as my usual wardrobe item costs $7 for some reason. (The tag says it was made in India so it probably cost .40 to make and was sewn by a 4 year old working 20 hours a day who has a second job digging for diamonds.) I also got a mani and a pedi - did 'em myself thank you very much free free free! I did get my makeup professionally done, but that was free too. I had given Mom a gift certificate to a salon for Mother's Day and Mom re-gifted it to me so I could get makeup done for my party.

Oh my escort. I was very upfront with him that I am seeing someone, have a special friend, a good friend, a romantic interest, someone who calls me April and hates my dog. I already have one non-committal vertiginous (bet you didn't know blondes knew such big words) person in my life. A significant other. A Sweet-n-Low Daddy - you know, not quite a Sugar Daddy, but pretty dog-gone close. He will take out my trash and put gas in my car! And that I merely needed an escort to my party because I didn't want to go alone. What I meant by this is I am not interested and and I do not want to go to this office party alone because I am new and it is going to be awkward because I am boss lady and nobody likes me. What I really meant is I don't want you, I would really like the kind of guy who has a Smurf collection and I will be his Smurfette.

OK. Anyways, escort brought me roses. Very sweet, but seemed like a creepy way to start the friendly, platonic, escort, non-date of an evening. I don't know if he was being polite or if it was a romantic-type gesture. And I happen to personally associate roses as pretty special, as my former spouse of ten years only got 'em for me once.

One night, two dates!
I had another date after the Christmas party. Hey, if you are going to look that pretty, one date is simply not enough! I got to go eat my favorite Tres Leches cake. It was my favorite of the evening. The date, that is. Well the cake too.

And since we are in the season of gift giving, or re-gifting, I took Escort's roses and re-gifted them to a little girl today. Smurfette's gotta spread the joy around.

-Robyn...I am no longer afraid of my round brush.
- posted by Robyn @ 4:39 PM 1 comments

 
scrooge-ette
I am at work on a Saturday morning. Again. I have been here since 7:00 a.m. That is unholy.

I found an escort for my Christmas party. It dawned on me that I did not know 1. the guy's last name and 2. I did not know what he did for a living. There's this street guy I give money/food to from time to time, and I know that his name is Johnny and he lives on the street and he stands on the street corner and collects money. So I know as much about the homeless guy on the street corner as I do about my escort to my office Christmas party. I guess I could have just asked Johnny to go with me, then I could have combined charity with the obligatory office Christmas party.

Let me just reiterate this one more time. Don't know the guy's last name nor what he does. I am either 1. incredibly open minded. 2. have amazingly low standards.

Anyways, sitting here arranging my my new cube and trying to move everything around very feng shui like so there will be no sharp corners pointing at me. The color red has to go on the south wall. Oh my, once I'm inside with no windows I don't know which way is south. Lemme think...

-Robyn...1. why do I keep making these 1/2 lists? 2. I don't know.
- posted by Robyn @ 5:56 AM 0 comments